No going back!

This is a long overdue update on my life post transplant!!

In general things are great – my blood results are fab, back into pretty much the normal range. I’m on 3 monthly appointments at Kings Hospital, for blood check up. I’ve also just been given the go ahead to start having my baby jabs again. (As part of a transplant you usually wipe out all your old immunities when introducing the new stem cells. Which means all your baby jabs have to be repeated. Its the reason why you still have to be careful with infections for so long). My only real complaints are fatigue (I still sleep at least 9/10 hours a night on a normal night – more if given the opportunity!), bit of mild rashy skin, and some IBSy like symptoms – They make life a bit more awkward, but don’t stop me doing things!

Work wise – in general things are going well….. although currently I’m at a sort of crossroads. I returned to my full time role at Aimia in London in March and slowly built up my hours. I have been doing one day a week in the London office and then working from home the rest of the week. It didn’t take me long to realise that I won’t be able to build this back up to full time. I don’t want to move back to London, I’m just not in that place anymore, yet commuting to London is exhausting. I have been offered to do more time working from home, however I find working on home for more than a day or two hard work!!

Its really frustrating. I’m really enjoying the work I’ve been doing since I’ve been back – I’ve been helping out in our analytics academy developing new training courses for the analysts and facilitating them – I love it!! But now I need to start thinking about the long term.

I would love to take my fitness instructing/ personal training to full time – but as expected this is just too physical and tiring for me. I’m currently teaching around 5 classes a week, and PT a couple of clients – adding to that 1 day in London and keeping up with my Yoga training then I’m pooped by the end of the week!!! It definitely isn’t sustainable to pick up any more classes..

So where do I go now???

I’ve started to look into local roles with the help of recruiters – ideally part time – but you don’t get many part time roles being advertised. So I have applied for a few full time roles available in the area – but there aren’t many in analytics that fit the criteria I ideally want! But now not only am I hoping to get the job…. I’m also hoping that the company will be understanding enough to let me to a phased start to the job…… There is NO WAY I would be able to go straight into a full time role without at least a bit of build up- it would kill me!!

Also my next drama is what if I build up to full time and then realise I can’t do it?? What then??? I don’t want to live to work….. I don’t want to work 9 -5 and then be too exhausted to do anything in the evenings/weekends. Being ill has made me realise life is too short for that. I want to maintain my work life balance. But our all employees as understanding of this? Aimia have been absolutely fantastic, and all my managers/HR have been so understanding – but will a new company with no knowledge of my work ethic, etc be so understanding??? Ideally I would quite like Aimia to set up a new Peterborough office please!!! ha ha!!

So no…. there is no going back to normal….. I can’t return to my old job this time, its too much…. London is just too much for me now…… But how do I find my new normal?!?!?