I hate to say I told you so…..

And I really do hate it this time, because despite being right I’m the one that ends up losing!

So on Friday I received a phone call from King’s with (almost) the full results of my recent bone marrow biopsy. Unfortunately despite the 3 rounds of chemo I have had, the results show that the level of cancerous blasts in my bone marrow is the same if not slightly increased. They are still trying to do some cytogenetic testing, but apparently the sample taken wasn’t the best and they are struggling to get the results.

So what does this mean? I’m not entirely sure yet. The doctors are still discussing me. They are suggesting moving on to more intensive chemo but haven’t decided what yet. It is a bit of a balancing act trying to kill the disease, without losing the transplant. They have been discussing going for a third transplant. They have been discussing some clinical trials, but unfortunately I don’t tick the criteria boxes for those having already had a transplant. The have been discussing some weird and wacky options where they harvest my blast cells and essentially make a vaccine! So treatment protocol wise I’m in a bit of a state of limbo until they decide what is best to do!

But in a nutshell….. I was right…I wasn’t convinced the aza was going to work. One good thing is it has probably stopped the disease spiraling out of control, however it hasn’t got rid of it. But I really didn’t want to be right!! I really had hoped the doctors would prove me wrong!

In the meantime I’m currently sat in a hospital bed, hooked up to fluids and IV antibiotics and fluids. The back end of last week I started to show signs of the common cold. Sore throat, runny nose, bit of a cough and fatigue. By the end of the weekend I was running a fever and had to be admitted to A&E. Its “only a virus” but my body is trying to fight this virus with 0.2 WBC and 0.1 neutrophils! So I will likely be here for a few days being kept a close eye on!

To end on a more humorous note….. I just found one of those ecg stickers under my boob when I just had a shower. This was despite having a conversation with the HCA about finding these days after and us both being careful to try and remove them all!! ha ha!

Babies everywhere……

So yesterday I got a letter through the post telling me that I need to make a decision on the eggs I’ve got in storage. They have been in storage for 6 years free of charge, and now I need to decide if :

1. I want to pay £350 a year for them to continue to be stored
2. I want to donate them to research
3. I want them to be destroyed

Infertility is not something commonly associated with cancer treatment, but it is one of the unfortunate side effects of chemotherapy. Chemotherapy destroys fast dividing cells, so the ovaries are usually effected.

Children have never been one of my big goals in life, but before undergoing my first stem cell transplant I opted to have some eggs harvested and frozen to give me the option later in life. Just in case.

For me, I don’t think I would ever plan to have children, I think they would have to be a happy accident. So the process of going through IVF in order to have children does not feel like something I would opt to put myself through. Also – with the rate things are going would I ever actually be well enough to have a baby!!

Anyway…… I have decided to donate my eggs to research now. My opinion hasn’t vastly changed in 6 years, and I doubt it will change in another 10. I will just be a fabulous Auntie Em to my friends kids and gladly hand them back at the end of the day!!

This feels like a bit of a weird blog post…. but I just wanted to make people aware that there is more to cancer treatment than just feeling sick and losing your hair!!