So its been a few weeks since the last update, which is usually a good sign with me as it means I’m too distracted by life to blog and I’m not sat around totally bored and dwelling on stuff.
My bloods have improved massively over the last two weeks, which is a fantastic sign. At my last check up on Monday they were:
Platelets 136 (almost normal)
Haemoglobin 100 (holding its own and increasing!)
Neutrophils 1.32 (Above the magic number 1! I’m no longer “neutropenic”. I’m still high risk to infection, but in a much better position to fight off any nasty bugs, which is great news as there seems to be loads kicking around)
Biopsy results – were a little inconclusive. Kings are fairly sure I’m showing the signs of being in remission. My bloods are great, and the samples they could test looked promising. HOWEVER, I’ve been asked to go back for another biopsy as the sample from the last one isn’t fantastic. Pretty frustrating – I’m not too bothered about being stabbed again, its not the kindest of procedures but I want the answers. The frustrating part is the added waiting time!! Its now 8 weeks post the start of the DA chemo and if I was to continue with the regime I should have started it at least 2 weeks ago! Instead now I have to wait another week for the test, and a further 2 weeks for the results! And hope that this sample is better………
Ignoring all of the thaffy medical stuff I’m feeling much more energetic in myself. The chemo has started to leave my system, I’m recovering from the multiple infections and my physical symptoms are getting less and less. And now that I have a bit of an immune system I can get out of the house and go explore the big wide world! (within reason of course)
So now is the time for me to focus on building up my mental health and physical strength. So you will see me out walking the dog. You will see me at the gym doing silly dance classes to make my brain work and maybe the odd bit of gym work to strengthen up. You will see me in yoga trying to get my brain to find some chill time. You will see me out with friends. You will basically be seeing me trying to find a sense of normality again in my life. An element of routine and structure to give me a bit of ompf to get up in the morning.
What you won’t see, are the afternoon naps and the days/evenings zonked out on the sofa. But I have to make the most of the times I feel good and do something for me. Its at times like this that I start to worry i’m being judged. That I “don’t look ill” enough to be off work. And if people see me a the gym they will accuse me of skiving work. I know this is really stupid….. I know I have every reason to be off work, more reason than most, but for some reason I still feel guilty whenever I see a work colleague and I’m out and about “looking well”. Ha ha! I hope that people aren’t judging me. And i hope that they understand that this is me trying to heal, trying to get stronger so when my treatment calms down I will be in a position to return to work.