No going back!

This is a long overdue update on my life post transplant!!

In general things are great – my blood results are fab, back into pretty much the normal range. I’m on 3 monthly appointments at Kings Hospital, for blood check up. I’ve also just been given the go ahead to start having my baby jabs again. (As part of a transplant you usually wipe out all your old immunities when introducing the new stem cells. Which means all your baby jabs have to be repeated. Its the reason why you still have to be careful with infections for so long). My only real complaints are fatigue (I still sleep at least 9/10 hours a night on a normal night – more if given the opportunity!), bit of mild rashy skin, and some IBSy like symptoms – They make life a bit more awkward, but don’t stop me doing things!

Work wise – in general things are going well….. although currently I’m at a sort of crossroads. I returned to my full time role at Aimia in London in March and slowly built up my hours. I have been doing one day a week in the London office and then working from home the rest of the week. It didn’t take me long to realise that I won’t be able to build this back up to full time. I don’t want to move back to London, I’m just not in that place anymore, yet commuting to London is exhausting. I have been offered to do more time working from home, however I find working on home for more than a day or two hard work!!

Its really frustrating. I’m really enjoying the work I’ve been doing since I’ve been back – I’ve been helping out in our analytics academy developing new training courses for the analysts and facilitating them – I love it!! But now I need to start thinking about the long term.

I would love to take my fitness instructing/ personal training to full time – but as expected this is just too physical and tiring for me. I’m currently teaching around 5 classes a week, and PT a couple of clients – adding to that 1 day in London and keeping up with my Yoga training then I’m pooped by the end of the week!!! It definitely isn’t sustainable to pick up any more classes..

So where do I go now???

I’ve started to look into local roles with the help of recruiters – ideally part time – but you don’t get many part time roles being advertised. So I have applied for a few full time roles available in the area – but there aren’t many in analytics that fit the criteria I ideally want! But now not only am I hoping to get the job…. I’m also hoping that the company will be understanding enough to let me to a phased start to the job…… There is NO WAY I would be able to go straight into a full time role without at least a bit of build up- it would kill me!!

Also my next drama is what if I build up to full time and then realise I can’t do it?? What then??? I don’t want to live to work….. I don’t want to work 9 -5 and then be too exhausted to do anything in the evenings/weekends. Being ill has made me realise life is too short for that. I want to maintain my work life balance. But our all employees as understanding of this? Aimia have been absolutely fantastic, and all my managers/HR have been so understanding – but will a new company with no knowledge of my work ethic, etc be so understanding??? Ideally I would quite like Aimia to set up a new Peterborough office please!!! ha ha!!

So no…. there is no going back to normal….. I can’t return to my old job this time, its too much…. London is just too much for me now…… But how do I find my new normal?!?!?


3 thoughts on “No going back!

  1. Lesley

    Been keeping an eye on you through fb. You’re amazing and I know you’ll sort something. But as you day life is too short so don’t beat yourself up. Do what you love…do what you can but enjoy. Looked beautiful in your photos last week. Let’s meet soon if you fancy. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ian Wright

    That’s a difficult one, a d it sounds like you’re type of role is only going to be full time. I’ve worked in London since 1986 to 1998 on and off. And full time from 98 through to 2012. Knackering yes, and I’m well so I know how you feel. Not 100% sure of your role but what about consulting type role working for yourself. And yes a good work life balance is probably the most important thing.

    Anyway I glad you are well on the road to recovery and having baby jabs is another step in the right direction.

    Onwards and upwards.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lucy

    Hey, it’s good to hear from you! Have you thought about doing a mindfulness instructor course or counselling degree and combining it all together with your fitness/wellness qualifications and knowledge and running your own business? I have Skype sessions with my counsellor and she is in Canada – so you wouldn’t be limited to local area either. God knows, in my opinion, people who are diagnosed with a life-changing/threatening disease need to know there are ways to help themselves, which isn’t a message that has been evident in my experience. The talking/counselling has helped me unburden myself and express some of my deepest fears – but I had to find someone to do that with as I found the NHS useless on that front. I also did my mindfulness course by Skype after an initial face to face meeting. Once qualified you could perhaps take it into schools locally? At the end of the day it might be a way to determine your own work patterns and allow you to use what you love and are good at….Good luck with whatever you choose. SO glad to hear your bloods etc are all normal.

    Liked by 1 person

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