What do I wear to work tomorrow???

So I have another fear to face tomorrow….. returning to work…..

This shouldn’t be scary but it kind of is! I left work in August 2015 when it became clear the low dose chemotherapy i was having wasn’t working and I could no longer mentally cope with work and illness. So it has been more than 18 months I have been off, and although physically I’m ready, mentally I’m still not sure!!

So many things going through my mind right now…….

  • How do I answer questions from people? i.e. “Are you all better now?” “How are you?” – its never a simple answer – one day i’m good, then next not so good…. most days I feel like a nap by about 3/4pm!
  • How do I deal with all the people? – Last week proved to me that I do find it draining being around people and this might be worse in a work environment
  • What do I say to the people I have lost contact with over the last year? – some of these people used to be my good mates, but through losing work we have lost contact. Mostly because I found it too hard to try and keep in contact with everyone at work, when it was somewhere that I wanted to be.
  • Will my brain work???? – Will I be able to focus for more than half an hour on something?
  • Will I remember all the new peoples names???
  • What do I blooming wear?!?!?!? – The dress code has changed to smart/casual rather than smart. Just gone through my wardrobe and I obviously don’t own anything that suits this criteria!! One extreme to the other…. pretty sure ripped jeans and doc martins are a bit too far to the casual side!!
  • The commute…… errghh!!
  • How much will people expect of me? – Will it be difficult to manage peoples expectations?
  • Do I even want to go back?!?!

Luckily my work have been amazing. With the support of my manager, Working Towards Wellbeing, Anthony Nolan and occupational health we have planned a really slow phased return. Previously I have done a standard 6 week return, but this just isn’t appropriate this time around.

Firstly I don’t want to go back full time, not in 2017 anyway, so we are doing a build up to 3 days a week. Tomorrow I am just going in for a few hours. Collecting my laptop, meeting people, finding out a bit more about the job I’m going to be doing. Initially I will be doing some internal work to get me back into the swing of it again. Then I will do a second day of a few hours working from home. From there we will build it up, mixing up office time and working from home. Then it will be decision time on whether I move back to London – but I think that decision will be a while in the future yet! – I have to say that nothing is really driving me to move back at the moment (other than swing dancing of course!!)

Plan for today – sort out my outfit….. pack my stuff… and chill out with the dog and grey’s anatomy binge!! Settle myself ready for tomorrow!! Wish me luck!!






6 thoughts on “What do I wear to work tomorrow???

  1. Lucy

    Good luck Emma! Look at what you have conquered already – this will be a doddle in comparison! Could you rehearse a few standard responses? Some for the people you know well, something else for those you don’t know so well? “I feel good today, if a little bit nervous” or “I’m making really progress” or “I feel halfway normal” or “A bit emotional – I have missed being here” – whatever works! Re clothing – better to be too smart than too casual I think. You’ll have a better idea after a day in the office…As for coping with lots of people being around don’t forget the toilets!! Run in there for a bit of breathing space. I expect you will also feel some elation at this new milestone in getting your life back so don’t forget to enjoy that feeling fully. Best of luck (not that you’ll need it)


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s