The waiting game….

I HATE waiting for results. It is the worst thing for me and no matter what people say it doesn’t get easier with time. You don’t accept it’s going to be at least a 2 week wait no matter how many times you’ve had a bone marrow biopsy, especially when you know something is not right . How can I deal with the problem (mentally as well as physically) if I don’t know what the problem is?

Do you prepare yourself for worst case scenario????

Or do you pretend its all going to be fine???

Also I hate the uncertainty of when the test results will come back. Kings are great as they will ring/email me to discuss the results as soon as the results have come back. However, they never know precisely when the results will come back. So I feel like I want to constantly watch my phone and check my emails! Sadly as well the aspirate slides all clotted, so there is no results available from them (they normally come back after about 3/4 days and give good preliminary guidance on how things look).

So I’m becoming a bit of a stress head! I try not to actively think about it too much, but it is constantly at the back of my mind. For example can I make plans for next week or will i need to go in for clinic?

Also, my sleep has been affected. I’m exhausted and fall asleep almost straight away, but then I’m wide awake around 5/6am!! So not quite my usual routine of 9/10 hours sleep…. And due to the anxiety I’m getting lovely acid reflux and have had to start taking medication again for it (omeparazole and gaviscon).

Fingers crossed the results will be back for either friday/tuesdays big wigs meeting (MDT meetings) so they can discuss me and decide what to do! In the mean time I will try and keep myself busy, although not with brain using tasks as I have zero concentration skills at the moment!!!

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2 thoughts on “The waiting game….

  1. Billie

    Waiting for anything drives me mad, I can’t begin to imagine how tough this must be. As you say try and keep busy, engage with tasks or activities you can immerse yourself in and try and catch yourself when your mind has wondered off and bring it back to the breath and the present. Much easier said than done! Thinking of you a lot at the moment, if you need anything for the patient team at Anthony Nolan please get in touch xx

    Liked by 1 person

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