This weekend I have had dodgy guts again. I know when I go to kings today they are going to ask for a stool sample. So all Blue Peter stylie (“here’s one I made earlier”) I’m going to arrive with them, as it is rather hard to do one on demand whilst at clinic! One thing that is never really discussed is the process of collecting a stool sample.
Urine samples are pretty straight forward, particularly for men. For women there is a bit more of an aiming issue which usually ends with it on my hands, but recently they have been supplying little funnels too. You have to be careful not to overfill the funnel though else you end up with the same problem!
Now stool samples are a different story. As an inpatient its easy; poo in a bedpan, nurse collects it (poor nurses), job done. At home though its a bit trickier.
Do you poo in a bowl knowing that you will probably never use that bowl again? Do you poo in a cheap tupperware and then throw it away? I’ve also hear of cling film being used, or is that just for pranks? Recently I’ve taken to put newspaper in the toilet and try and just poo a little bit on that. Remove the paper and poo and complete my toilet trip. take the sample off the paper, put paper in plastic bag an in the bin.
Whichever way its all fairly disgusting and I really don’t like doing it but hopefully it will give some answers to why my guts keep going berserk!