Usually women are whinging that men can’t find their G-spot, today I’m whinging that a nurse couldn’t find my cervix!!
I’m on yearly smears as I’m a high risk patient for both HPV (due to weakened immune system and I’ve had low levels before) and cancer (because a possible side effect of chemo is other cancers…… ironic much?).
Generally I find smears nothing to get overly excited or nervous about. The take about 2 minutes and I’m not afraid of getting my bits out! Also I’ve had plenty done in this area (coils put in, cysts going crazy, egg fertilisation) and nothing can beat the pain of a bone marrow biopsy so I’m pretty chilled about them.
However, today proved to be a little different. With legs akimbo, nurse up close and personal, speculum inserted the nurse suddenly asks “Do they normally find it difficult to locate your cervix?”. Now what the hell?? I didn’t think they were hidden up there. I thought it was a fairly straight forward tunnel?
She did a lot of rummaging around with the speculum (not an overfully pleasant or painfree experience I have to say) and eventually found it and rubbed around with the swab. Smear completed. Results in 2 weeks.