New year, new me?
How was everyone’s new years eve? Set any resolutions?
The 31st was my first dose of chemo and a look ahead to what 2016 will hold for me. Yes the next 6 months or so will likely be tough, but hopefully next new years eve i will be celebrating with friends rather than nurses! I didn’t even get to watch the fireworks as the signal kept going on my TV!
I have been thinking about any resolutions and aims for me for 2016, some just a bit of fun!
1) Be less tough on myself – I need to learn to give myself a break from time to time. I always push myself too hard to achieve unrealistic goals. With my last transplant I wanted to be back to work after 3/4 months…. I did it but I wasn’t ready. I was exhausted all the time, I struggled with side effects from the drugs, etc. So a specific element of this is to listen to the doctors advice and ensure I don’t push myself back into work too soon. This also applies to other aspects too, not beating myself up if I make mistakes every now or if I actually need a moment to be emotional!
2) Complete the Wasgij puzzle from Kirsten – Think it might take me a long time!! http://www.wasgij.co.uk/collections/original/wasgij-original-23-the-bake-off
3) Charity – Continue to raise awareness of donating blood and bone marrow in whatever way I can (later in the year when I have the capacity)
3) A holiday for me – I want to go visit my friend Lucy in Ireland and I also fancy the idea of doing some form of yoga retreat when I feel well enough
4) Crochet a blanket- Originally the aim was to complete a square a day but they are a bit bigger than i anticipated!! But I will try and complete this as much as I can just as a focus for whilst I’m in hospital and off work:
Day -5 update
(cell infusion day is day 0 and then we count up from their)
Today is day 3 of chemo and so far I’m fine side effects wise. The anti-emetics are making me a bit bunged up but I’m sure the chemo will fix that for me in a few days!!
I have been suffering a lot with anxiety. I feel like I am waiting for the side effects to come and trying to plan for it, but the reality is you can’t!! I don’t know how ill I’m going to be…. I might feel not too bad… I might feel hideous. Only time will tell, but i’m not in control of it and I HATE not being in control!!! Think this is one of the reasons I hate vomitting. I hate the feeling of losing control.
Consequently whilst thinking about all this I haven’t been sleeping and am totally restless. Hopefully this will settle down as I get a bit further through. In the meantime zopiclone is my friend for sleep and walks in the park for my itchy feet whilst I’m well enough!
Now off to do some yin yoga to hopefully chill me out a bit before bed!!
F.A.O Peterborough Nurses
The nurses here are doing my head in getting me to sit up at 2am to do my obs because they think that my blood pressure is too low…. Have a word!!!