Decisions….. decisions

Today was the trip to London to sign my life away, but it didn’t go quite as I thought it might at the hospital!!

Started the day with a chilled walk with the dogs and my brother round the fields in my mums village, watching his little pup Jasper bound through all the fields! Then got the train down to London with my dad to meet Liz for a spot of late lunch at the Love Walk cafe. Great to see Liz (despite the hangover) and catch up on some of the gossip from the work party!!


Pouting on a London bus in my new wig, thanks to Sarah Bishop!!

Then 3:45…. it was the meeting with one of the consultants (Potter) and Debbie the transplant co-ordinator. Before going onto the consent forms we started with the bone marrow biopsy results. So my biopsy results were pretty much everything a transplant patient wants to hear:

  • 100% donor
  • low % blasts
  • no monosomy 7 defect detected

However my bone marrow cellularity is ridiculously low, so I am hypo-cellular. I have 5% stem cells in my bone marrow, where as an adult my age should between roughly 50 -60%. So my bone marrow is pretty much empty. This is why despite my blood levels stabilising they are not massively increasing, there just isn’t anything to make them.

So technically I am in remission…… There is an option to wait and see what happens. Wait and see if my bone marrow regenerates by itself. Wait and see if my blood counts pick up. However, the chances are this won’t happen by itself. So I will be left with low blood levels, not low enough to need blood products but low enough to not be able to work or live a normal life. I will still be high risk of infection. AND the doctors are 99% certain (she actually said 100% but I don’t believe anyone can be 100% certain about things like this) that the cancer will come back at some stage we just don’t know when. It could be a month it could be a year, but it will come back and the chances are I won’t be as well as I am now.

So it seems I have two choices:

  1. Wait and see…..let my body get weaker….wait till the cancer comes back and then struggle to fight it
  2. Attack the f*cker now!!

The doctors opt for 2) and so do I. It feels like a no brainer for me to opt for the cure whilst I’m well enough to try. The fitter I go into transplant, the lower the risk of complications.

The 30th is my planned admission date (tomorrow I will update with the full consent process and chemo plan, too tired now!!) and until then I will be trying to spend time with friends and family, and hopefully stay infection free! This started with an quick glass of wine down the pub with a few work colleagues (should have got a photo damnit!!) Makes me realise how much I miss the office, but most of all the people I work with!! You guys are amazing 🙂

And finally my secret Santa present arrived!!! Thank you all in Loyalty Analytics, can’t believe I still made the cut despite being an ISS gal now!! ha ha!!


One thought on “Decisions….. decisions

  1. Diana Lockyer

    Fantastic photo Emma. So pleased that you had a reasonable meeting with Victoria Potter and the transplant co-ordinator. I have seen Victoria once and really liked her. I love the photo of you with the silver foil wig and wand. Have a wonderful Christmas with your family and we will be thinking of you on 30 December. Di & Pete xx


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